Catnip
by Angel Frog
Summary: Sidestory to Neko. While in the greenhouse, Ranma finds some unusually strong catnip...Uhoh.


Disclaimer: If I owned it, would I be writing this?

Ranma yawned as she walked around outside. She hadn't had much sleep, as her nightmares were waking her up again. She shivered softly as she thought of them. Even though she now had full control of the Neko-ken, memories of the training still gave her some nasty nightmares. 'If it wasn't for the fact that I'm already cat-like, I might have slipped into the Neko-ken a long time ago.'

Ranma shook her head, dislodging the disturbing thought. She yawned widely as she walked to the greenhouses. They were full of magical plants, and Ranma sometimes helped Professor Sprout in the mornings. "Are you in here, Willow-san?"

A chuckle came from the back of the room. "Yes, I'm right here, Ranma." She came closer, holding something. "How are you today, dearie?"

Ranma grinned happily. "I'm fine, Willow-san. Do you need any help today?"

Rosemary smiled at small girl. "No, that's alright Ranma. I have most everything set up now." She set the small tray of plants she was holding down and turned away. "I was just about to send some things down to Professor Snape, though."

Ranma stepped closer to the plants. "What are these, Willow-san?"

Rosemary glanced over. "Oh, a cousin sent me those. She says it's a magical version of a muggle plant. Something she told me though…" She trailed off as she tried to remember. "It's a fairly new thing. She crossbred a few plants so it's just like the muggle version, only stronger. Oh, yes! She said muggles call it catnip."

Ranma purred slightly. "Catnip, hmmm? Interrresting."

Rosemary frowned as she remembered something else. Her cousin had sent a note. 'Make sure not to let any felines near this stuff. I'm not entirely sure what would happen, but the neighbor's cat was going crazy even though she wasn't able to get within ten feet of my plants.'

Rosemary only had time to mutter, "Oh no," before she heard a loud crash. Turning to look, she saw that the door was broken and Ranma was no where to be seen.

Ranma literally zoomed all around the grounds, high on the new and improved catnip. When she got bored with that, she stopped for a second and realized something. "BREAKFASTTIME!"

Most of the students were in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. They were treated to the sight of a red and black blur that came from the doors and stopped quite suddenly at the staff table.

Dumbledore looked up in surprise as he saw the blur. It stopped quite suddenly on the table in front of him, and he found blue eyes staring directly into his own for a moment. The swishes of a tail behind her let Dumbledore know who this was. "Ranma? May I ask what you are doing?"

Ranma didn't answer, and some began to snicker when she batted at Dumbledore's beard. Just then, a disheveled Professor Sprout came in the Great Hall. Dumbledore calmly stood, though the image was ruined slightly when he had to take his beard away from Ranma. The girl turned and sprang onto Hagrid's shoulders, kneading and purring happily.

Rosemary had to stop for a moment to catch her breath. "That girl can be quite fast when she wants to be," she muttered to herself. Looking up at Dumbledore, she took a deep breath. "Headmaster, we may have a problem."

Before he could ask, Ranma suddenly gave a cry of "Kitten soul!" and leaped onto the Gryffindor table right in front of Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister.

Ginny was caught by surprise, but she greeted Ranma anyway. "Ah, hello Ranma. What's going on?"

Ranma grinned and purred loudly. Scooping the startled Ginny up, she cried, "Come on! Let's go see what's at the top." She tossed the surprised Ginny on her back. Ginny knew Ranma well enough to know that she should hang on tight for this. As soon as she had a good grip, Ranma leaped high onto the nearest wall. Ginny shrieked in surprise and hung on tightly.

Rosemary sighed. "My cousin sent me a magical crossbreed of a muggle plant. She thought I might want to study it somewhat. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized how it would affect Ranma."

Dumbledore frowned slightly. "What plant was it?"

Above him, Ranma gave a surprised yowl. "There's a ceiling up here? I thought it wasn't there."

Rosemary sighed softly. "It was called catnip." Every one of the muggle-born and a few of the purebloods who heard her gasped in surprise.

From above, Ginny let out a loud shriek of mingled surprise, fear, and exhilaration. It was all the warning anyone had before Ranma landed on all fours between two tables. Ranma calmly dropped Ginny off at the Ravenclaw table, next to Luna Lovegood. "You stay here, I'll explore some more." With that, she zoomed off.

Luna looked closely at her friend and waved a hand in front of her face. "Ginny? You all right?" she asked calmly.

Ginny slowly turned her head to look at Luna. "I'm not on the ceiling anymore, am I?" Luna shook her head calmly. Ginny nodded. "Good." Without another word, she fainted dead away.

Luna calmly caught Ginny and shook her head. "Hmm. I'll have to get her to the Hospital Wing."

Harry, Hermione and Ron came in at that moment. They had almost been run over by a red and black blur in the hallway. Ron shook his head. "What was with that? I'd say it was Ranma, but even she's not _that_ fast!" He paused a moment. "Is she?"

Luna smiled when she saw them. "Ron, would you take your sister? She's too heavy for me."

Ron hurried forward. "Ginny? What happened to her!" he demanded of Luna.

Luna just smiled, seeming oblivious. "Ranma is high on catnip. She took Ginny up to the ceiling to see if it was really there, and then dropped down with Ginny still on her back. Poor girl fainted when she was let down."

Rosemary groaned softly. "That is what I wanted to tell you, Headmaster. Ranma came to see if she could help me in the greenhouses, and got too close to those plants. Apparently they're even stronger than the muggle version."

Ranma was simply in her own world. She was having fun simply running all over the place, occasionally scaring some of the students and teachers badly. One memorable incident was when Ranma almost ran over McGonagall.

"Auntie Min! Hi, how are you, want to play with me? No, you probably have class. Not today, though, today's Saturday, so do you want to play with me?" Ranma babbled this entire thing out in seconds and McGonagall simply stared.

Minerva shook herself slightly. "Ranma, what happened to you? And what is that scent?" It was a faint scent, strangely tantalizing, and driving her nuts.

Ranma grinned. "Can't tell, don't know, wanna play, we have fun, two cats—"

Minerva put a hand over her mouth, cutting her off. "All right, I'll go with you Ranma, but only for a little while." Ranma grinned and as soon as Minerva had changed into a cat, she snatched the poor animagus up by the scruff of her neck and took off down the wall.

Evidently the magical catnip didn't work quite as well on her as it did Ranma, because Minerva was only slightly high. Because of this, Minerva was soon screaming in cat language. "Ranma, put me down this instant! I mean it! I WON'T TEACH YOU ANYTHING FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU PUT ME DOWN!"

Ranma almost screeched to a halt as she instantly turned and bolted for Dumbledore's office. Without a word, she jumped over the gargoyle, and Minerva had some hope of an end to this wild ride. Ranma entered Dumbledore's office loudly, and Dumbledore was already on his feet with his wand in hand, wondering what was going on.

Ranma dropped Minerva-cat on his desk and bolted. Her words floated back to them both even as Ranma disappeared from sight. "Take care of Auntie Min, Bumblebee-saaaaan!"

Dumbledore stared after her. "That was unusual." He turned to the extremely dazed cat on his desk. "Are you all right, Minerva?"

Minerva looked around herself. There was Dumbledore, all the pictures of past headmasters, and her in cat form on his desk. She slowly stumbled over to the edge and detransformed even as she jumped off. Once human, she gave Dumbledore a wild-eyed look. "Never let Ranma get a hold of you when she is high." Without another word, she fainted and Dumbledore barely managed to get a chair behind her before she hit the floor.

By the end of the day, Ranma was finally beginning to slow down, though she was still literally bouncing off the walls. Students were warned to stay in their Common Rooms, as Ranma was being rather unpredictable. Even so, several of the students had met Ranma's standards for a temporary playmate and were now passed out in the Hospital Wing. Even a few teachers had made it there. Besides Minerva, Snape joined them and found out Ranma's nickname for him was in the process.

"Raven! There you are!" At the sound of those words, a chill had gone done Severus's spine. Before he could turn, he found himself thrown over Ranma's shoulder. "Come on! Let's go meet the birds!" Somehow, Severus had a bad feeling about that…

Outside, Ranma literally tossed Severus straight up in the air. "Come on, Raven! You can fly, can't you?" A strangled yell and his plummeting quickly answered that question. "Hmm. Guess you're a flightless bird." She calmly caught him and sped back inside. "Least you're not a penguin. They're funny looking." Severus clung tightly to the back of Ranma's shirt as he tried not to be bounced around too badly.

By then, Dumbledore had just decided to wait in the Hospital Wing when it became obvious that Ranma was bringing her 'playmates' to him. Ranma grinned as she ran in. "Hey, Bumblebee-san! Turns out Raven is a flightless bird." Dumbledore choked on his lemon drop at those words. "He tried though. Flapped his wings and everything." With that, Ranma dropped Severus onto the nearest unoccupied bed and bolted once more.

Albus finally managed to get rid of the offending lemon drop as he made his way over to Severus. "Severus? How long did she keep you?" Severus simply groaned and hugged the bed as if he never wanted to leave it. "Ah, not too long. Some of the others couldn't even do that much."

Ranma grinned as she stalked the halls. She cocked her head slightly as she thought she heard something. After a moment, she heard it again. Jumping, Ranma stalked silently across the ceiling as she tracked the sound around the corner. Without even thinking about it, she pounced.

Poor Crookshanks was accidentally locked out of the dorm rooms earlier. Fortunately, he had managed to avoid Ranma. A slight sound above made him look up just in time to be pounced upon.

Ranma happily grabbed the disgruntled tomcat by the scruff of his neck and took off. Crookshanks struggled widely and proved quite easily that _someone_ in the school or near where Hermione lived was probably of sailor descent.

Ranma proudly presented herself and her annoyed burden in front of Violet, the Fat Lady who guarded the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. She set Crookshanks down and pinned him with a hand-paw on his back when he tried to sneak away.

"Violet! Hi how are you? Would you let us in? Crookshanks wants to get back to Hermione. Did you know he curses really badly? I think he knows a sailor. What's the password today? Oh, yeah! It was Lady's Luck! Have they changed it? I hope not, because Crookshanks really wants in, he was cursing me and everything earlier—"

When asked later, Violet would claim sheer self-defense that she let the hyper cat-girl in. She could almost _feel_ her sanity leaving, and knew that Ranma wouldn't go anywhere unless she got what she wanted, so she swung the portrait open and let a red, black, and orange streak shoot past her. Violet breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Inside, the students stared in horror as a red, black, and orange streak shot in through the doorway. Ranma paused and looked around. It only took her a moment to find who she was looking for, and she pounced.

Hermione felt herself pinned flat on her back with Ranma above her. Ranma set Crookshanks on her chest, and the poor cat made a run for it.

Ranma grinned. "READER! Guess what I've found out!"

A little breathless, Hermione decided it was in her best interest to answer. "Ah, what did you find out, Ranma?"

Ranma grinned and leaned down slightly. "Well, there's a lot, so I'll just tell the best." She leaned down and whispered something in Hermione's ear. With each word, her eyes got wider. After a long moment, Ranma pulled back. "Well, that's all, gotta go, the snakes might be fun." Without another word, she was gone. The shutting of the portrait hole was the only indication of where she'd gone.

Harry and Ron came over and helped Hermione get back to her feet. Harry spoke first. "'Mione? You alright?"

Hermione nodded slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine. She just knocked the wind out of me," she answered distractedly.

Ron shook his head slightly. "What did she tell you, anyway?"

Hermione allowed her two friends to set her on a couch as she was still slightly wobbly. The other Gryffindors looked on curiously, but did not say anything. "Uf. Harry, Ron, do you remember who Raven is?" The two of them shook their heads in confusion, not understanding, but knowing better than to question.

Neville heard her and walked over. "Did you say Raven? I think I remember that one." Hermione looked up at him. "Remember that time she walked into Potions class?"

Harry nodded agreement. "Yeah, I remember that. Didn't she say something about wanting to talk to someone?"

Neville nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it was one of the Slytherins. Anyway, remember what she said? It was something like, 'Professor Raven, can I speak to one of your serpents?'"

Hermione blinked. "Oh, now I remember. Wait, Professor Snape is the one she called 'Raven'?" She suddenly burst out laughing as what Ranma had told her began to make perfect sense.

Harry, Ron, and Neville looked at each other in confusion. "Um, Mione? What's so funny?" Harry was cautious as she asked.

"Well, huh, Ranma said, giggle, that Raven snort was a flightless bird." She lost control of her laughter for a moment before continuing as the others stared. "She said he tried, flapped his wings and everything!" With that she was lost, as was the rest of the tower when they realized what that meant.

By Sunday morning, people began to cautiously emerge from their rooms. They hadn't heard much since about midnight, so they figured it was probably safe.

Dumbledore sighed in relief. Ranma hadn't brought any more people with her since midnight, and he was cautiously optimistic.

For her part, Ranma woke up feeling more than a little disoriented. Barely awake, she wondered who left the window open. The wind was blowing and she felt the sun warming her back. Opening one eye, she glanced around and started to go back to sleep. Then she froze. Much more slowly, she cautiously looked around and started to move.

Unfortunately for her, she still wasn't completely awake just yet and went tumbling down the roof. Inside, Gryffindor students heard loud feline yowls and Japanese curses as well as faint bumping noise. They followed the source of the noises with their eyes, and heard a loud crash.

Ranma glared around at the plants. They almost seemed to glare back. She had landed in a greenhouse, one filled with some of the more dangerous plants.

By the time Ranma stalked out of the greenhouse almost fifteen minutes later, she was not in a very good mood. She had woken up with a headache, rolled down the roof from what seemed to be the highest point on the whole school, landed in a greenhouse filled with the most dangerous plants, and her clothes were shredded.

Ranma stalked all the way to the Hospital Wing, snarling at whoever she saw. They were all smart enough to get out of the way.

Inside the Hospital Wing, Ranma's mood was disrupted with sheer surprise and shock. Nearly all the beds were full. Rosemary Sprout was sitting on one of the nearer beds. She looked up when she saw Ranma. "Never go near catnip again, Ranma."

Ranma stared. 'Catnip? Was that what happened?' Quite suddenly, Ranma remembered everything. She looked around at all the students and several teachers, who were watching her. Blood rushed to her face, and she fainted out of sheer mortification.

> > > > > > >

AN: I know I haven't posted anything for a while. Anybody glancing at my bio would notice that I was feeling a little dry on ideas for the next chapter of Neko. Unfortunately, my mind has been throwing out ideas for just about everything else. Oh, well. There's nothing I can do right now. My mind works in some _strange_ ways, sometimes.

Anyway, this is something I've been working on for a while now. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to put it out, but at the rate I'm going I won't ever be. As I said in the description, this is a side-story for Neko. Won't really affect anything, but **The Centauress** gave me the idea when they reviewed, and I couldn't get rid of it until I wrote it. The ending isn't great, but oh well! Hope you like!


End file.
